The Real Costs Of Divorce

by: AlexArcher
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Despite the images that are sometimes portrayed in the media, a divorce can be a bitter experience even if the parties involved are fairly friendly through the process. Should there be kids involved in the crossfire, the experience of a divorce can be made even worse. Children can be left feeling like there is something missing with the breakdown of their family structure, ultimately resulting in many children having feelings of being abandoned and left by their parents. Other more severe emotional concerns can crop up later in life as a result of a divorce as well for children.

Whilst divorce grabs the headlines for its financial impact especially on the husband, the human cost far outweighs the financial burden.In a case where children are involved the emotional cost can be severe.Fathers feel removed from their children and find it increasingly difficult to engage with their children and this separation can lead to depression as they try to identify their role as a divorced father.

For the mother, a divorce can often feel like the heaping on of additional responsibility that wasn't as big of an issue with two parents. The child rearing now being almost squarely on her shoulders, a mother can often feel broken down and emotionally overstretched, as her children now rely on her for support and love almost exclusively in many cases. Children can feel alienated as a result of not being nurtured enough.

Children, as stated before, often bear the brunt of the divorce's costs despite not being directly involved. A marriage that disintegrates without much friendliness between the parents can leave the children having misguided resentment against them for dissolving the family. Additionally, the children can lack the maturity to deal with the divorce properly, which can lead to a stunting of coping skill development.

The children often feel incorrectly that they are to blame for the situation and can often feel rejected. They experience loneliness and anxiety and often previously outgoing children can withdraw emotionally and can feel awkward in social situations. They also find it difficult to engage emotionally with loved ones as the fear of further rejection stunts their emotional growth.

A divorce that results from a partner committing adultery can also have an ill effect on the partners involved in the divorce. The cheater can often feel perpetually guilty for committing the offense, which can leave them feeling bad in future relationships. The partner cheated upon, meanwhile, can feel as though they're a victim, and will likely feel like they will be cheated upon in future relationships as well.

Whilst no-one ever really enters a marriage with the intention of divorce it is a real world reality with one in every three marriages breaking down.The most important factor is that it is done as amicably as possible. There are no winners(apart from lawyers!) in a breakup of a marriage and it is important to be reasonable.

Ultimately, the process of divorce can be emotionally tough but can also be the start of something better for all parties involved, as they may be able to emotionally find someone that better fits their personalities and lives. Remember though that no matter what your marriage looks like, the costs involved with a divorce may be more to bear than the costs of keeping your relationship together.

About the Author

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