Six Easy Ways to Build Your Child's Self Esteem

by: AbelCheng
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Self-esteem is the foundation of how a person acts, thinks and feels about the world and themselves.

Self-esteem is also a key to feeling competent and in control. Good self-esteem can impact future and present success in all area of life. Our self esteem is formed by our primary relationships as children, and our very first relationships may indicate how we feel about ourselves for the rest of our lives.

Even though our later relationships with our peers and other adults may impact our self-esteem, the most important thing parents can do is to allow a child to feel as though they can be themselves in an emotionally and physically safe environment.

Positive interactions and relationships with parents, teachers, and other adults is the basis for good self-esteem in children. These adults can influence children's self-esteem by giving constructive and positive feedback to children when they accomplish a task. A "Congratulations" or "Nice job" is all it takes to build this vital skill.

But praise and positive reinforcement alone will not make children feel better automatically. Providing them with lots of love, care, and understanding is equally significant. Children who are happy and confident may still experience low self-esteem because they do not feel loved. Likewise, children who are loved and pampered at home may still feel inadequate and incompetent, thus ending up with low self-esteem. Hence, a balance of both should be present.

Delivering positive messages and engaging in constructive communication lead to a healthy self-perception. Try these time-tested tips to enhance your child's can-do attitude.

1. Use positive words. For instance, telling a child what you would like them to do in a way that excludes words like "no" or "bad". You can help your child maintain a positive attitude by being positive yourself.

2. Let kids complete their sentences. Avoid interruptions, as these disrupt their train of thought or make them forget what they're saying. Otherwise, they'll feel as if their ideas are insignificant and not worth listening to.

3. Get on their level. If you are talking to a toddler, you should kneel down to speak to them. The child should be able to see your face without straining to look up.

4. Take turns in the conversation. Agree on who speaks first, and who speaks next. It is important for parents to encourage kids to verbalize their ideas and feelings, but to also wait for the go signal to speak. Children should be able to understand that if people talk all at the same time, they will end up understanding nothing.

5. Keep your cool. Make sure you wait to talk to your child when you are calm and relaxed. Speaking to a child when you are angry will only feed the flames of conflict.

6. Criticisms should still be present. We should also take notice of shortcomings or misbehavior as we see it or learn about it. Explain why an action is not acceptable, and allow kids to think of ways to avoid doing it again.

About the Author

Abel Cheng is the brain behind Parent Wonder site. Find out how to raise successful children with his insightful parenting tips found on his website.  

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